yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Randomize
