i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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