Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
