I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
