I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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