We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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