my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
