You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
