Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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