Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
My brain says no but my pants say off.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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