Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
