I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
