Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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