I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Randomize
