Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize