let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
