Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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