his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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