but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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