What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
