just come out here and I will go home with you...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
