Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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