??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize