I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
