I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Only a mothe r could love this liver
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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