lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
