some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I need to stop coming to work sober
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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