It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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