He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
