are you so shy because you have an std?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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