just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
