I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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