told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
