Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
