I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
