A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
