I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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