I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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