Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
