very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize