Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
