You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
