I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
should my penis look like a turkey
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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