hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
