dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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