Your dad touched me again.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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