do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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