Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
