You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
