I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
