just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
What a dumb baby whore.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
