So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
