If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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