But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
