Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
