Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Randomize
