Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
